I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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