Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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