Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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