oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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