p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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