So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i out mim tonsoeep
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