More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
