Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
