So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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