turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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