you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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