How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize