the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize