Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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