My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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