My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think people are normalizing furries
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize