Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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