I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
