Non-Jews are for practice
im six kinds of drunk right now
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
did i walk over a car last night?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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