I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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