oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
