So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
