scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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