ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize