i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
