Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He passed out mid-signature
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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