if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
