Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
