alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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