I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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