Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
