Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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