Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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