i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
