hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
