So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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