For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
