Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
