google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
