I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
