it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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