I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
