i would punch a child for taco bell
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
