There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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