why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
