After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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