btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
