Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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