I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
