Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
