You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize