I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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