shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
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