we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
